Somewhere in New Delhi, 9:30 PM
Sitting in a bar, at a chocolate colored table, in front of a glass window, I am revising my life. A lot has happened in the last 27 days. I am sleep and nutrition deprived. I have been sleeping and waking up in bizarre locations, bus, train, taxi, coffee shop, hotel, restaurants and many more including public toilets. You might be thinking that I am insane. I asked the same many times to me but trust me I am not. I have one hour and thirteen minutes to tell you about what’s happening. Perhaps it’s not enough but I know you will start believing as you finish dreaming tonight.
I am a precognitive dreamer and my 6th sense allowed me to see the future in my dreams though my sense is limited to see the death only. I have always felt it as a curse, and I kept struggling with thoughts to kill myself. I have always seen death, pain, sadness, cry and melancholia in my dreams that have given me a lonely life with insomnia. I haven’t found peace so far, in search of which I have been running from one city to another. To reflect my dreams and to make some money with that I started painting the pain and suffering I was seeing in my dreams. I knew this running will never end but at least it kept me anonymous until one day I saw her in my dream. I was in Bengaluru, hotel Comfort-inn, seventh floor, room number 703. I had seen death many times, woke up wrapped in sweat and tangled with pain but this time it was different. I took the glass of water in my hand and walked to the balcony. Standing there I was staring at the sky, for answers, and for complaints but I knew what I felt was real and I needed to go for her. It was my time and I must find her. It had been 10 days since I saw her and every time, I was closing my eyes, I was seeing her. Obviously, I couldn’t sleep not even a single night while my dreams were becoming substantial. I was getting pieces and flashes of similar scenes, but nothing was making sense. I was tired of that situation, I was losing control over me. One day those visions surpassed my psychological balance and I used all my energy to expel it out, stretched myself till the limit that every single blood vessel in body swelled and was about to burst. Excessive stress gave me a shock that I lost control and hit the wall with my head and fall on the floor. I remained unconscious for some time. That was the first time when I was in my dreams without interruption of my senses. However, it started with stress but in my dream, I took a leap of faith and I reached, where I supposed to be.
“I woke in a place with big mirrors, I looked around and checked the time in my watch. It was 10:45. I heard a lot of noise around me, people screaming and running. Then swiftly noises went away as an echo with my name reached to me from behind. I turned back and looked in the mirror, a shadow was walking towards me. I started walking towards it to look closely and I saw her coming closer to me step by step. She was there in front of me, looking eye to eye. Everything stopped at that moment. I slowly moved my hand to the mirror to touch her. She placed her hand exact on the same spot below my hand in the mirror and said, ‘find me’. Following everything burnt in the fire and shattered into pieces.” I woke up.
This was different. I felt like she was also watching me, and she felt the pain I was in. I felt like I am not alone, like my dreams are mirrors and she was there on the other side. In the morning I went out for breakfast in a street nearby my hotel. I ordered a cup of tea and sandwich. I was still in the shock for what I felt in my dream. I just closed my eyes and I was there again……
“it was a white Toyota Corolla, with five people inside. A tall male with French cut beard was driving. They entered in an underground parking, I couldn’t see the number of the car, but it was with DL4,,,,,,,. They came out of car and started walking towards the entrance. Perhaps they are waiting for someone. One of the guys received a message and he started looking across the street. There she was, waving her hands to everyone there. It seemed they all worked in the same office. She waited for the signal to cross the street. French beard guy took out his wallet to show his Id at counter for registering their entry and I noticed that ID belonged to Accenture India. They started moving up in stairs with black tiles, talking about some stuff, laughing loudly. Perhaps they were pulling leg of someone in the group. She was so gentle, smiling softly and moving elegantly. She put her hand on the wall and slowly moved over the name of the place that was carved over the wall with golden color, ‘Pepper Bar and Club’.”
Sir,,,,,, sir,,,,,,,, your order, Sir,,,, ..
I slept there for a while. The voice from 5 feet, brown-faced waiter, woke me up. He was standing in front of me with a cup of tea and a sandwich. I was suffering from insomnia for quite a long time but these past few days were terrible. I was sleeping anywhere and was getting dreams all the time, sometimes it was hard to separate my dreams from reality. One could also say I was hallucinating. I saw her thousands of times already, I saw her happy, sad, angry and her cute gestures when she tried to convince people. I felt her touch, her presence around me and every time when I dreamt her, I smiled. As I knew it was my time and destiny and I must find her. I was trying to collect clues from my visions. So far, I figured out that It was my time to take a flight to New Delhi. I was trapped between reality and visions. My visions were navigating me towards an unknown journey over my painful realities. I was obscure but she gave me hope, smile and I strongly felt that was my destiny. The flight was of 2 hours to New Delhi. I got a window seat at the end of the cabin. I managed my baggage and tried to find little comfort on my seat so I could rest a bit. As I was getting closer, my visions were getting stronger and prominent. I had many visions and dreams of me sitting in the Bar, a waitress who was falling, a man ignoring a call from his wife and a duffer who jumped over the table to toast for his wife. Amid all, she was there.
I reached Delhi. I was closer yet finding her in this big city was like finding a needle in the haystack. Google helped me to find the Accenture office in New Delhi, but I had no idea how I was going to find her in such a big company where thousands of people work in variable time shifts. Though chances were low, I kept going there every day. While in my visions I was trying to get her name or any clue regarding her location, but nothing, it was always the bar. Delhi is one of the Biggest cities in the world with 18 million people crawling over the streets to find their lives. My dreams and google helped me to find the ‘Pepper Bar and Club’. My days were narrowed down to Accenture office, nights at the bar and whatever left was stuffed with my visions.
Then the day finally came. I am here again at the bar but today things started happening, exactly the way I dreamt. My dreams, visions, reality and she coincided finally today at this bar.
It’s a chocolate-colored table, in front of a glass window, I have always picked it in my dreams and in reality. I have no idea why they cover such beautiful windows with black films that gives us an amazing view of fast-paced life on streets, self-distracted people running to-and-fro chasing their useless dreams. It’s 10:30 pm, this shitty loud music is not pleasing for me, but I must stay, I must, for her.
I ordered a beer, chilled and full of bubbles. Every sip of beer that is going inside becoming part of the fire I am burning in. The black film in the glass of the window, making it a perfect object of reflection and I can see every single person in that bar sitting at an angle of reflection. There she is, in a red top with spangled white Anemones printed at the corners of the sleeves. she is like ” Anemones-The Daughter of Wind”. Her bright skin giving the perfect value to that red lipstick. Her smile and gestures are getting more intense under the influence of red wine that she is shaking in tulip glasses and gulping slowly. The bar is full of people, noises, and music I am familiar with, yet I am stuck on her. The way she is sitting there elegantly folding one leg over the other, slightly tilted on the right side, holding red vine in her left hand, showing all the curves form body to her cheeks. She is balancing them all to be sober yet exceptionally beautiful. She put the glass on the table and smiled politely to her friends and started walking to the washroom, that’s my chance, I finished the last drop of the beer, wiped my face to clear the sweat I had and started walking towards her. As I stepped out, a waitress got distracted by my hasty move and were almost fall if I wouldn’t hold her. People always notice me because of my attentive responses and my odd sense of dressing garnished with my insomniac look, a weird combination. Similar is happening here. After the waitress incident, I caught the eyes of people sitting in nearby tables. Especially a mid-aged man with a half bald head and with silver coated Rolex watch in his hand that he was elegantly showing while avoiding a call from his wife in his iPhone. I clearly noticed his disgust towards my poor dressing, yet I ignored his extramarital affair with his own secretary. While I am being judged and stereotyped, she is walking slowly with her high heels to the washroom, which is located at the end of a narrow passage where the walls are covered with large mirrors to hide the kitchen in the back. A guy sitting next to the stage jumped over his table and asked DJ to help him to toast for his wife, as he came to know that she is pregnant. How naive is the idea to inform people that somehow his calculated bed exercise finally coincided with the biological cycle of his wife and he wants to celebrate it by pouring Alcohol on his under-process baby who has no idea, what the fuck is going on? I am not part of this nonsense, but it helped me to pass by further. Perhaps I should move slowly to make it easier to be around her. I checked my watch, it’s 10:42, I need a deep breath, I know it’s time., I continue walking behind her, foot by foot. I noticed that she saw herself twice in the mirror and smiled a little by stretching her cheek to the left. I can smell her, with every breath I am filling me with her presence in my body. I am just a foot behind her, she is about to open the door of the washroom. Her high heel hits a slight groove on the floor, and she loses her balance.
Got her, I am standing behind her, my left hand around her back supported by my shoulder and chest while my right hand grabbing her right hand. Her head is on my chest and to see who is holding her she must open her decorated eyes. It’s strange but this moment is really happening in slow motion. A yellow light bulb above us is making perfect angle that she is seeing me and I am there in her eyes. I am feeling her silky skin, her touch giving me a sense of being alive like I was never before. all those 27 days 6 hours and 23 seconds passed by my consciousness since I have seen her in my dreams. Yet it’s a cozy situation but I know she is also feeling this connection and letting it happen. It has never happened before that I felt confluence with anyone, it’s happening right now, right here, in this very moment. I am feeling utter peace being with her. She is moving her lips slowly to say…….
‘I know you, I have been waiting for you. I know you have suffered, but you should know you are not alone, I know how it feels. I felt it too, the pain of seeing people die every time you close your eyes. But now is the time, it’s our destiny. Let’s embrace it together’. She is closing her eyes, with tears running down. I heard a blast in the kitchen that shattered the mirror in front of us, following everything covered in fire.
It’s the end of our suffering. I am peaceful as I am leaving this world in the arms of someone who knows how it feels. At the end I just want to say, if you are dreaming this, you must understand its real. You are not alone, keep looking for the connection, there is someone out there looking for you, who knows how it feel. That’s my story, but yours still looking for you. Who knows what destiny has planned for you?
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